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My secret vice

It’s interesting to discover the things that make will make our pulse race. What would be the first sign of arousal? The sudden dryness of our lips? A bead of sweat on the forehead? A dilation of our pupils? We hope no one will notice our furtive glances but it soon becomes obvious as the anticipation builds, and we can’t wait to reach out and touch the object of our desire with trembling hands.

I’m lucky in that I don’t have to go out and search, my secret vice arrives in the mail. You might be surprised to learn that there is no plain brown wrapper, no plastic covering, nothing to conceal the contents from an unknowing observer. I wonder how they can let it pass by without so much as a second glance. Pornography truly is a matter of perception.

Once it’s in my hands I’ll spend hours perusing my treasure; admiring the colors and contrasts, the blatant displays designed solely to appeal to my baser instincts. It’s all so rich and ripe looking, spread out on the glossy pages before me. I can’t help but stare at the play of light and shadow that reflects the work of a careful and dedicated photographer. I’ll even do more than just look at the pictures, (isn’t that what we all say?). I’ll take the time to read each descriptive narrative and compare each offering to best of my ability.

It may take hours, but eventually I’ll collapse upon my couch. Sated, for the moment, but ready to pick it up and start all over again. I might have missed something, you know.

Goodness knows if I’m this bad with the office supply catalog, don’t let me near the garden and seed annual.


( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 2nd, 2009 03:56 pm (UTC)
Step away from the catalog...
Okay, I'll admit, there are a few catalogs that titillate my senses, but they usually involve PBS videos. ;)

Just remember when the garden and seed annual arrives...breathe deeply and step away. *g*
Jun. 2nd, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC)
Re: Step away from the catalog...
*whines* but it's all so pretty.


Hmmm, I might have to add the PBS catalog to my mailing list *cough* just saying.
Jun. 2nd, 2009 06:06 pm (UTC)
Re: Step away from the catalog...
LOL, yes, it's all so pretty, I do understand.

The PBS catalog is now a regular since I ordered The Story of India. And there are a number of DVDs I want from there.

Look, it's 'cuff' theme day. ;)
Jun. 3rd, 2009 03:49 pm (UTC)
Re: Step away from the catalog...
Layla, my love. Every day is cuff theme day. *wink*
Jun. 3rd, 2009 04:56 pm (UTC)
Re: Step away from the catalog...
Oooh, oooh, how about some rope? :D
Jun. 4th, 2009 12:43 am (UTC)
Re: Step away from the catalog...
heh heh,

You mean like the milk commercial?

I can see it now "Got rope?"
Jun. 4th, 2009 12:45 am (UTC)
Re: Step away from the catalog...
I've been needing a caption for this icon. Thanks for the inspiration! :)
Jun. 2nd, 2009 10:40 pm (UTC)
LOL! That was very well written! And so true!

It reminded me of earlier today when I was listening to podcast, and the presenter said something that gave me a zing and made it hard to concentrate for a little bit. I realized that no one else listening got that little zing but me...but that's life sometimes eh?
Jun. 3rd, 2009 03:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Now you've put a song in my head "it's just not the thing if it ain't got that zing"

chrissy - off and humming
Jun. 3rd, 2009 02:07 am (UTC)
*snicker* you dirty girl you. That was absolutely wonderful.
Jun. 3rd, 2009 03:53 pm (UTC)
*hangs head*

I feel so naughty. LOL.

I'm glad you liked it!
Jun. 3rd, 2009 05:03 am (UTC)
I'm 23 and addicted to the produce section of the local grocer's flier. This strikes me as something not a lot of 23-year-olds bother to peruse, but it makes me salivate. Granted, that is actually *food*, so.

I do love office supplies.

And porn.
Jun. 3rd, 2009 03:54 pm (UTC)
*sighs happily and nods*

Office supplies rule.
Jun. 3rd, 2009 12:12 pm (UTC)
God, I thought I was the only one gets excited over multi-colored post-it notes,those clippy little envelope folders, and pens, pens, PENS!!! LOL

I'm Clare London and I love stationery...
*supportive applause*

Jun. 3rd, 2009 03:56 pm (UTC)
Yup, our secret is out.

*hugs back*

See you at the next Office Supplies Anonymous meeting.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )