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Clare: Happy belated New Year! Welcome to the 2011 edition of The Clare and Chrissy Show. Our extra bit of fun on the side.

Chrissy: We hope everyone’s New Year started out less hectic than ours. I can’t seem to explain it; everything seemed to just explode quite messily this year, and the bubbles weren't nearly as pretty as these ones.

Clare: Well, I’m not much of a role model for anyone myself at the moment, as I’m still trying to keep my head above virtual water! But here’s hoping we’ll soon catch up with the rest of you, powering forward into 2011, once again on top of our lives, *crosses fingers* and ready for whatever adventures the rest of the year holds for us.

Chrissy: Wait, before we get started, where’s my confetti?

Clare: Notice the word ‘belated’ in the opening sentence, Chrissy. We don’t need confetti.

Chrissy: Bite your tongue. We always need confetti.

Clare: It did look festive tossed all over my Birthday Blog Month, didn’t it? *smirk*

Chrissy: Absolutely. And if our reading audience didn’t get a chance to visit Chez London for the extravaganza – just stop on by. I'm still reading through the offerings - thirty-one days of posts by guest bloggers, and free fiction - all served up with glittery stars.

Clare: Not that I really make resolutions, but I’m backing away from the glittery stars this year. I'm trying something new; something a little different, more mature. Maybe more edgy?

Chrissy: You go, woman. More website reorg, huh? *Sigh* Yeah, that’s on my list too. I may not make resolutions either, but I do try to start my year out with an extra bit of organization (hence the explosion of boxes piled up in front of the shredder). This year I managed to drag Clare along to keep me company. That’s why this month’s post is: Take a look in our drawers.

Clare: Drawers? Right. Um …?

Chrissy: Kitchen drawers, that is. Nothing more intimate than that, whatever you thought. Did you think I’d learned *nothing* over the last couple of years about the Great Brit-Yank Language Divide other than the fact you’ll stab me the next time I use the word ‘gotten’?

Clare: *wipes brow, no longer poised to flee the country* BTW, that’s not a word.

Chrissy: Moving on… unless you are one of those frightfully organized, a place for everything and everything in its place kind of people (in which case I bow before you), you might have one of these yourself.

Clare: Drawers, that is. One of those catch-all drawers that the kitchen designers set aside for knives or extra serving utensils, but we tend to toss in everything we can’t find a place for.

Chrissy: Scattered amongst the expired coupons, rolls of tape, half-used tubes of glue, extra wire ties, body piercing aftercare instructions, and three open tubes of hairball remover for The Tyrant (what? I’m still looking for the one where he’ll lick the goop right off the tube like the label swears) are fascinating glimpses of our lives and times past.

Clare: Be afraid. Be very afraid …

Chrissy: Here’s a question: if we practiced what we preached as authors of erotic romance, how many tubes of personal lubricant would we have scattered around the kitchen and buried in these very same drawers?

Clare: *LOL* We’re talking real life today, Chrissy. Not tropes. *Sniff * besides, isn’t that what olive oil is for? *wink* Extra virgin, of course.

Chrissy: Like archaeologists, we peered through the layers of strata and exposed these depths to the harsh light of day. About time too, I think the bottom of the drawer was starting to break.

Clare: But we don’t have space to detail everything that was in there. So, we’re picking the top five interesting items found in our kitchen drawers.

Chrissy: You can join us. Turn on some music, grab the family, pull that drawer out in your own kitchen, and prepare to be amazed.

Clare: *still nervous about the sanctity of her drawers* This gives family fun night a whole new meaning.

Chrissy: Pffffft.

Chrissy:: I started off rather simply with my collection of 3D magnetic butterflies being close to the surface. Every Spring I resurrect them from the drawer and place them on my windows, front door, and doorwall. It’s a two-person job to line them up correctly, as one half is set outside and the other is set inside. Then the magnets hold them together through the glass. I always know Spring has sprung when my colorful assortment of butterflies comes out to play.

Clare: That’s really charming. What I can offer in that category are candles. We always have a ready supply for anyone who needs them. Not the elegant, sweet-smelling church candles you might put on your mantel, but the ones with Happy Birthday on the top. Or Congratulations. Or ones that fart blue smoke, or magically won’t blow out *mwahaha*. See the shock on those impressionable children’s faces after they’ve run out of puff…

Chrissy: And here I had doubts when it came to *my* parenting skills…

Clare: Hey. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, right?

Chrissy: My next find made me stop and say “awwwwwh”. It was my Laa-Laa keychain from back when the Teletubbies were big at our house. Clipped onto my purse, she was an easy distraction every time fractious behavior threatened when out in public. The sound effects took some work, but I bet I can still do them.

Clare: No. Really. It’s okay.

Chrissy: I think we still have some videos. They became our secret vice. We would come home after a hard day and pop one in. How can you beat a happy sun, green grass, flowers, and bunnies as a stress remover?

Clare: One word: Alcohol. But I’ve lived through a rather more aggressive upbringing with the Sons, who brought into our home Thomas the Tank Engine, Power Rangers, Yu-gi-Oh and Pokemon. Who am I kidding? They still love all that! Witness a little further back in the drawer, where I found several Lego characters from Star Wars, all missing heads, a Red Power Ranger with only one leg, and a slightly creased Blue-Eyes White Dragon trading card. Happy Days :).

Chrissy: Where do those heads go?

Clare: Truly, a question for the ages.

Chrissy: Directly behind Laa-Laa, I discovered a plastic model Sea-Doo Bombardier Jet Ski, complete with working water jets.

Clare: Let me guess, you tried it out.

Chrissy: Of course! Filled up the tub and away we went. The Tyrant loved it. This gem was from back in the day when one of the kids swore up and down they would die if we didn’t get them a Jet Ski for Christmas. Well, they got one. *cough* Just, not exactly to scale.

Clare: Nowadays they call that child abuse.

Chrissy: *mutters in sotto voice* Pot meet kettle. From one side of the argument, perhaps. At least we fended off their certain demise.

Clare: I don’t think I’m one to talk :). I sent both Sons on forced route marches with the Boy Scouts as soon as they showed any passing interest in camping. In the corner of my kitchen cupboard is a full set of billy-cans and … you guessed it … a spork!

Chrissy: Hahah, in the hands of our misguided youth those were definitely weapons of mass destruction.

Clare: Thankfully, no one sporked an eye out.

Chrissy: Leaving behind the question re: is that really a verb, I have no clue why this next treasure was in the drawer. How about an 8 track tape? A homemade mix tape to be exact, complete with tracks from Jethro Tull, Ted Nugent’s Wango Tango, Eric Winter’s Frankenstein, and Uriah Heep to name a few of the classics.

Clare: I have no words.

Chrissy: Pretty cool, huh?

Clare: No. Seriously. I mean, how can that nostalgia compete with the wallet I just found at the *very* back of the drawer with a selection of paper souvenirs from the trip Hubby and I made to Florence in 1999, including all the entrance tickets to the museums, receipts for our meals, and the outrageously-uncomfortable, narrow-toed, high-heeled shoes I bought. Oh, and some postcards of the superb and adorable Donatello’s David. I sat for an hour in front of it, Hubby had to drag me away for sustenance. Of a different nature that is. *sigh for love of a statue*.

Chrissy:: Out of all that, all I can think about is how we need to do a shoe post one day.

Clare: We do know what’s important, don’t we?

Chrissy: Things took a more serious turn with my final find of the day. Years ago we made a cassette tape of my maternal grandmother talking about her life in the rural South. It’s fascinating to listen to her speak about growing up as a multi-racial sharecropper’s daughter. She was one of twenty-seven children, had five stepmothers, and when she passed, still lived on her husband’s original family homestead first settled back in the 1800s.

Clare: That’s fantastic. Why in the world would you have that in your junk drawer?

Chrissy: This is just a copy. But it has more to do with the fact I burst into tears every time I hear her voice than anything else.

Clare: *pets and hands over tissue* But I may join you at the hanky dispenser. I found a battered old box with a silver christening spoon in it. Maybe it was the 16 year old Son’s, or even the 21 year old’s. Yet I’m both afraid and moved at the same time to think it may be *mine*. Our house was my grandmother’s originally. It was never a treasure trove of antiques, but the memories and occasional items of family tradition that we come across are worth more than that, of course.

Chrissy: *blows* Yep, now we’re both tearing up. I admit, I thought this would be a fun and rather silly post when we started, but look where we ended up. I feel we’ve taken quite an unexpected and emotional journey. I may even have grown as a person.

Clare: *coughs* Down girl. Let’s not get carried away. But like all things, this is merely another example of our lives imitating our work. We may start out with the simplest of directions for our writing, but where we end up is always a surprise.

Clare and Chrissy: That was our five most interesting items found in our kitchen junk drawers, what have you found in yours? Do you think Chrissy needs to work on her sadistic streak when it comes to gifts? Will Yo-Gabba-Gabba Dance Club really replace the Teletubbies for stress relief? Should Clare stop tormenting the Sons, and abandon her helpless love of a certain bronze? And, honestly, where do all the heads go?

Let us know what you think! Everyone who comments to this post will be entered in our random drawing with the lucky winner receiving their choice of either a Clare or Chrissy free eBook download from our mutual backlist. Winner to be announced in our next, monthly post.

Here's Chrissy! website // blog.

Here's Clare! website // blog.

Miss any of our monthly posting? Don't worry. Here's a handy, dandy quick link to get you all caught up. Feel free to add your thoughts to any of the posts. While we can't enter you to any of the giveaways we'd love to hear from you.

January 2011 – On Hiatus: catch our commas at Clare London’s Birthday Blog Month
December 2010 – Christmas Crackers and that Perfect Gift
November 2010 – Clare and Chrissy Give Thanks
October 2010 – OMG! I’m published! Now what?
September 2010 – MySpace or Facebook – or, reports of my death are greatly exaggerated
August 2010 – Inspiration vs. Perspiration
The Intro Post – or, What is this all about again?


( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 16th, 2011 11:59 pm (UTC)
Are we live here? Hello? ;-) Hi Clare.

Okay, my drawer is predominantly kitchen stuff, not counting the hammer and screw driver and I keep thinking I need to go through it and get rid of a bunch of crap but ... You just never know when you'll need it. In my head anyway. Here are MY WEIRD FIVE.

From the left - a small little knife? maybe for butter with a Santa on top, I believe a knife for cutting a jack'o'lantern, a straw with Tarzan's head on it that in theory when you suck liquid through it he makes the Tarzan yell (in theory), an eye dropper that was used in a science experiment and has something brown stuck in it, a fake plastic ice cube that, in theory again, when exposed to liquid flashes in different colors. not sure it ever worked. So there are my oddities.

Oh and my daughter had that same Yugi-Oh card (or whatever manga thing) and may still have it up in her room somewhere.
Feb. 17th, 2011 08:53 am (UTC)
Thanks for coming back Tam!
(chrissy, I messed up LJ and tempted Tam into our draft post before it was ready - but bless her, she came for another visit LOL).

That Santa knife is seriously cute, and Tarzan?! Brilliant!

Hey, we could start up our own card centre at this rate :). Despite the fact Son#2 snatched it back off me when I was showing it off for the post.

I love this kind of mystery tour.
Feb. 17th, 2011 01:37 pm (UTC)
Hi Tam, you have some really cool stuff. I am immediately filled with want for the Tarzan straw (whether he works or not, how can I resist the concept?) and the ice cube thingie. Excuse me while I'm off to search the web. :)
Feb. 17th, 2011 01:45 pm (UTC)
The ice-cube thing actually worked. I spilled some water on the counter and as soon as both contact points on the bottom of the cube got wet it started flashing blue. It would look cool in a glass. Tarzan not so much.
Feb. 17th, 2011 02:21 pm (UTC)
I actually found the Tarzan straw on Amazon.com. LOL. And wow!! There is a HUGE assortment of lightup ice cubes there as well *back to happy browsing*.
Feb. 17th, 2011 12:18 am (UTC)
Ha! Chaos & Mayhem lick PetroMalt right off the tube. :)

Weird stuff in the kitchen drawers... Knitting needles - my brother & SIL thought they'd make nice fondue forks. (I've never had a fondue party, but maybe someday.) A bunch of cat toys tucked into the silverware drawer. Um, a feathery pink tiara that May just received in the mail is ALSO tucked into the silverware drawer, to remind me that I need to take pictures of her wearing it. A drinking straw with a tiny penis on one end, left from a bridal shower. And from the actual kitchen junk drawer - a folder containing the tiny weird keyboard for programming names and phone numbers into the front entry system for our condo building.
Feb. 17th, 2011 08:55 am (UTC)
Hm. Knitting needles is NOT so weird, they're *very* useful in the kitchen, like I have a set of long-handled tongs just so I can reach stuff in the top cupboard LOL (*am very short*).

The tiara ... well. How come I immediately feel jealous?! :D

I'm feeling a series coming on about novelty drinking straws...
Feb. 17th, 2011 09:56 pm (UTC)
This is actually May's third tiara. I guess she has a collection now!
Feb. 17th, 2011 01:41 pm (UTC)
Agh! You're kidding me? No getting the tube out and watching them run? No holding them (in theory) in place while you smear a brown, fishy-smelling clump on their chin or paws? No watching while they shake said paw and chin in disgust and send the brown stuff flying across the room forcing you to crawl around and find it before it stains forever?

Heh - see what you're missing?

Hmmm, obviously I need to work on my straw collection. And yes, we need to see the pictures with May wearing the pink tiara.
Feb. 17th, 2011 01:46 pm (UTC)
Well, I just get the plain PetroMalt, without the fishy flavor added. AND they only get it as a treat (bwa-ha-ha!!) after they've successfully completed a kitty grooming task, such as getting their claws trimmed.

I know. They're really getting ripped off in the treat department. :)
Feb. 17th, 2011 07:01 am (UTC)
Not sure I've lived here long enough for any real nostalgia to appear out of my kitchen drawer, although this spring I really do have to go up to my old place and empty the garage. Maybe I'll find something interesting up there. If not, there's always Mum and Dad's loft (things have been going up there since I was four, and I'm certain some have disappeared down a wormhole to another galaxy in the process).
Feb. 17th, 2011 08:57 am (UTC)
My God yes, The Loft is a planet unto itself!

We joke we'll find a mystery 3rd Son living quite happily in ours one day, though maybe I shouldn't laugh LOL. Let's face it, the chance of specifically finding anything we put up there is next to nil, so it's *always* a mystery tour.
Feb. 17th, 2011 01:44 pm (UTC)
This sounds like it will be quite the interesting adventure. And by God, Clare is right - what wonderful story ideas spring to mind.
Feb. 19th, 2011 03:43 pm (UTC)
My husband's a meanie and rules the kitchen with an iron fist. He absolutely will not allow me to have a kitchen junk drawer, no matter how much I protest that I need one. Instead I have a wooden box file by the computer that I chuck things into. Yesterday I went hunting through it for a Windows Start Up CD (which I didn't find), but I did locate my old hand-written recipe book I was sure I'd lost, an origami starfish, and empty photo album, loads of loose photos, a bunch of Peppa Pig holographic stickers and some homemade bookmarks where I laminated pretty yarn scraps and cut the sheets into strips.

My kitchen drawers are all filled with boring things like mixers, greaseproof paper, muffin cases and rolling pins... but why is it I can never find a twisty tie or a peg when I need one?!
Feb. 21st, 2011 02:28 pm (UTC)
The wooden box is a good compromise, especially with Peppa Pig stickers. :)
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )